When the going gets tough, the tough get going.....
Sometimes parenting can simply come down to motivation and management - when you need to get to a playdate and don't want to be delayed an hour, you gotta simple HOOK those kidlets in.
BUT HOW?!?!?!?
No. 1: You need to get yourself prepared before managing others. I see so many parents saving themselves for last and before you know it, your adorable, dressed, and ready to go bubba has rubbed sudocream all over themselves or destroyed something. Once you have yourself prepared, you are 100% ready to take on all challenges thrown at you (literally).
-----> On this note, get yourself a mapped out schedule. If you need to be out the door and on a ferry to work by 8am, I would be thinking over a thorough plan of action.
No. 2: Don't introduce distractions if you can avoid them - the big one to avoid here is TV! Unless your kids have grown up and can reason with you through conversation, then don't go near those electronic devices AND lets be real, do you really want to listen to ANOTHER paw patrol episode (let alone meltdown)????????
No. 3: Chill on the compromises! Don't spend 20-30mins asking you child do something and negotiating a compromise to go with it, because you're basically just teaching them that if they listen to instructions they get something - which is absolutely crazzzzzzzzzzy!
------------->> Remember: you'll be giving instructions for a long, looonnnnngg, looooooooooong time, so do you really want to be negotiating each time? NO! It's simple:
- Give the instruction
- Give the instruction in a firmer tone if nothing happens
- Provide a warning (if nothing changes)
- Follow through - time out.
- Hugs & sorries / instruct again
- By this point, if they still aren't listening - keep to schedule, simply say nothing, take them to complete instuction (e.g. get them dressed/shoes on/etc..... )
- Debrief when calm later on
Now, this is all easier than said. You need to remember that every family and parent has a different boundary with their child. If you've been negotiating and suddenly follow these steps, your little one may be a little shocked. Best thing to do is talk to them the day before, tell them you need help, tell them mummy wants your listening ears on. Set up the new boundary.
Every new day is an opportunity to make a change :D
Anca xx